what the hell bulbasaur are you gonna help out or not you fucking lettuce
My cousins the best at snapchat and you can’t convince me otherwise
i have this crazy urge to txt you cause i miss you so much but then i remember you probably don’t miss me at all.
it’s kinda messed up that winnie the pooh and jack the ripper both have the same middle name
the best part of an oreo is the black cookie part and not the frosting part
deal with it
darkness without light is an abyss
light without darkness is blinding
you cannot have a coin with one side.
yo socrates it’s a fucking cookie
The odds of being attacked by a shark in the US are 1 in 11,500,000, but no one gets mad at people who want to avoid the ocean.
The odds of a woman being sexually assaulted in her lifetime are 1 in 6, but if she doesn’t feel safe around strange men she’s a stereotyping bitch.
Strange old world we live in.
when you’re taking a shit at your spanish friend’s 3rd birthday party and you have to check your email